ANOTHER Day in the Life of a Dogsitter

Saturday. All is going well.....the vision of a woman becoming slightly unhinged yesterday afternoon has apparently shocked the hounds into their best behavior. They let me sleep in until 7:30. No lakes of urine (or even small ponds) in Puppy Prison. No dead rodents on the porch. And, it is not raining. Maybe the dog gods are smiling upon me today.

This morning, at 11:00am I get to take the monster back to the vet for his health cert. I am looking forward to it about as much as you look forward to a high colonic. Not that I've ever had one but I've heard tales and they are not nice.

This time, I have a crate. Puppy did not eat much for breakfast. And, his little bowels should be empty after yesterday. I have a sixth sense to NOT take a shower beforehand, why jinx all that has gone well today?

I get the puppy in the crate, get the crate out the door with no Silkens escaping outside and get the crate in my vehicle all 20 minutes prior to the appointment time. In my car, and off we go. I offer up a small prayer of Thanks to the dog gods for being kind to me so far.

Before I get to the end of the eighth-mile long driveway, a familiar smell assaults my nostrils. Poo. At least it is contained in a crate this time. Windows all go down and I am not going to cancel the appointment, come hell or high water or any other fluids. By the time we get to the vet (about 5 miles away), I see the puppy vomiting in the crate in my rear view mirror. Lovely. But, it's all contained in the crate with the poor little puppy, not spread like a thick veneer all over the back of my vehicle. Poor little puppy.

The vet office parking lot is almost empty -- bonus! I get a parking spot right next to the front door, how often does that happen?! I go in, and there's no one waiting. Cool, I will get right in and out as fast as possible and get the puppy home and all of this over with quickly.

Then the receptionist gets this odd look on her face and says, "I am SOOOOOoooo sorry!" Oh God. She says, "The doctor called in sick today and I didn't know how to reach you. I wasn't sure if I called Karen's house if you'd get the message so I didn't call. You'll have to reschedule." Reality slips. I see the walls pulse in and out and I feel the earth move under my feet a little as the blood drains from my brain.

I get back home and as I enter the house, all the dogs maintain about a 3 foot radius around me and the crate. 36 sets of eyes look at me and they are all saying the same thing, 'Whoa Dude that's some gnarly shit!' I say back at them out loud, "You're telling ME."

Bathe puppy. Hose off blanket that was in the crate. Hose out crate. Put clothes in to wash. Now I can take a shower, put on clean clothes, then I am going to Olive Garden to meet my sis-in-law and have lunch and some vino. No dogs allowed for at least a few hours.

Oh, back to the health cert and third vet appointment. Paul & Karen return Monday night at 8:30pm. Is the vet open late in the evenings, I asked? Is it remotely possible that the monster could get in on Tuesday, after Karen gets off work and I would be off the hook? Oh no, that would be too easy. The latest appointment they take is 4:30pm. So, what do I do, you ask?

I scheduled the monster for Monday and made a huge mental note to remember this experience forever and get even, like any good true friend would.